2 MUCH N NOT THE MOOD

2 MUCH N NOT THE MOOD (2022)
This surreal self-portrait began experimentally, with no real direction and intention. This origin story and process is much like many of my most intriguing pieces. As it evolved, it took on a compelling form that I see as a reflection of the toxic interplay between the self and public performance. It captures how validation from external sources can impact oneself and others when the self is not fully healed from its traumas and insecurities. The eyes are the window to everything. In the initial version, the heart-shaped balloon appeared to be wrapped around my throat. The attachment was vague and ambiguous. I think this uncertainty created a complex mix of emotions - both in myself and in those who viewed it. Although this uncomfortable depiction of possibly being strangled intrigued me, I've since revised it, clarifying that the balloon now emerges from my hand. Whether this shift visual in control and strength signifies something personal, I’m not entirely sure. It might, or it might not. I've included various iterations of the piece here, each one an evolution of the original vision.

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Aluta Null (they/she) is a digital artist and game designer based in Johannesburg, South Africa. Aluta's work has a sharp focus on technology, politics, perception, and pop culture. Through a glitchy lens, Null meditates on what art means, what the digital is, and what their fusion can become. View more on LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/alutas_theory